Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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