Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
