I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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