Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
