I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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