Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
