I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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