I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
