i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
