It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
