this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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