Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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