if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
