She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
