the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
