what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
