STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
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