Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize