Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
