Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
