coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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