reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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