I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
