so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
