4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
