so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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