That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
