Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
