never play flip cup with pint glasses
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
