I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
