It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If I die, sorry about rent.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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