ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
