he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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