were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
What drink are we having for lunch?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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