The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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