If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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