I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
