I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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