I'd wear matching sweaters with you
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
