I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
