Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize