He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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