I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
