ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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