I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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