he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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