you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
found the other keg... it's in the tree
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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