dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It's just like the Real World with babies
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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