So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
