my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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