The brown eye won't let me do that either.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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