It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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