Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
