she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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