i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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