she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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