yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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