I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
