Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
