You can't motorboat a personality
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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